Thinking

I realized today that I very rarely think about what actually makes me happy. This is not to say that I do not have ideas about what makes me happy, but I think that these are mostly scattered. There is no easily discernible pattern. What I do know:
1. Past regrets are not really holding me back. Sure, there are things I wish could unsay or undo. But seeing as this is particularly unlikely to happen, I consider myself pretty good at letting most things go. (This is despite the fact that I know full well that I sometimes hold grudges, though I think that these are rarely against people I actually know. I am much more likely to hold a grudge against a larger entity. Walmart, for example. Also, people I don't know, such as Mr. Rove.)
2. Contentment is not the same as happiness. It just is not enough to be content, though contentment certainly has a place in the grand scheme of happiness. It is probably impossible to be happy without first having some measure of contentment. But contentment seems a shallow measure of pleasure and happiness can be much broader, including things like joy, pride, and satisfaction that aren't necessarily included in contentment.
3. I'm not really sure what does restrain my all-out happiness. While I feel a little strange classing this under "What I know," it is always good to acknowledge the gaps in your information. This is a critical one, which I must think about more. Perhaps if I could come to a helpful conclusion, it would give my life some more direction and give me a little more guidance. If not, it simply means that I know myself better than did before, nothing I will ever complain about.
4. I don't think about these kinds of questions unbidden most of the time. It usually requires some external motivation to figure it out, such as a question or a book or some other outside stimulus. I find this to be a big problem with myself, as I tend to criticize myself for not thinking enough. Also, it is hard for me to be truly clear about some point that I am trying to express if I am limited to my silent thoughts. It comes along much better when put in writing or exchanged in a conversation.
All in all, I am writing mostly because of this last point. At the moment, there is no one here and I cannot share my thoughts on the subject except by writing them down or talking to myself. I do enough of the latter to mean that this is a nice change of pace. So there you go.